Ghostbuster Reboot Solves All Problems For Women In Hollywood

 

Wow, what a premiere party, am I right?! Great food, free drinks, what more could we want?! And the best part, of course, is the victory Ghostbusters means for all women! Just think, it’s written by a woman, stars women, and basically from top to bottom is just stacked with women—finally and forever equaling the playing field and removing all sexism in Hollywood. Yea!! Well, except for spec writers creating original content. But no, don’t worry, that market is still doing great and women are killing it there too!!

 

Oh, what’s that? You don’t know what spec writers are? Well, bless your heart! Of course you don’t because sequels and reboots don’t require spec writers. Spec writers are people who come up with these things called original stories, write scripts about them, then offer them to studios to speculate if they want to purchase. So, we don’t get paid unless a studio buys our scripts. We? Oh yes, I’m Patricia Resnick and I’m a spec writer. Have you ever heard of 9 to 5? No? Well, I wrote it and it starred Jane Fonda, Dolly Parton, and Lily Tomlin. You should totally check it out!

 

Of course, there will always be some clearly sexist detractors to this new Ghostbusters. People complaining that it’s just a repackaged search for more money from studios afraid to take on new and original ideas, thus crippling the spec market. Lies! Opportunity is just gushing all over!! All those superhero movies and remakes of classics like The Karate Kid & The Bad News Bears haven’t affected our sales one bit!! We’re still selling just as many and maybe even more scripts today as we were in the ‘90’s and anyone who says otherwise is just an ignorant sexist.

 

Now listen, just because the new Ghostbusters doesn’t have a spec writer doesn’t mean this movie hasn’t made a world of difference for us. Why, just last month and prior to this movie’s release, only 9% of spec scripts sold were from women. Now we’re clearly dominating the market. Thanks, Ghostbusters reboot!!

 

Speaking of reboots, where did that name come from?! Heaven, obviously!!

 

And finally, who couldn’t be moved and inspired by those two adorable little girls meeting Kristen Wiig while dressed in their full ghostbuster getups?!! You know those girls learned an important lesson: they can do anything they want. Especially write an original script for speculation for Hollywood to make into the next blockbuster!!

 

So let’s celebrate with another drink!! We’ve come a long way, baby!! Wait, what’s that you say? Do I have an invitation to this party? Of course I do!! Let me just look in my purse…No, there’s no need to call security, I must have left it in my car. Let me just go get it. I’ll be right back!